Mike Reid RIP

[retired_member16]

Comedy genius.

Paaaaaaaaaaaat !

 

[SF]

is that old frank butcher - thats a shame!

 

[olebean]

wow rickkyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

[paul]

Yeah R.I.P Frank

Let's hope it's R.I.P to this as well



commercial Van insurance car Breakdown Cover

 

[tifosi]

R-R-RRR-RUNAROUND!!

testbed for the asbos of my generation!

S

 

[dhscott]

Wonder if they'll lower the tone at his funeral and wear spinning bow ties.

 

[Pred]

Wonder if they'll lower the tone at his funeral and wear spinning bow ties.

LOL
I'm sure if Mike was here he'd give them a 'dry slap'
LOL

 

[enworb]

If you haven't seen his stand up dvd's, I highly recommend them. I can't think of a funnier person doing stand up. Most of the old timers shared jokes but he was the funniest.

I'm really gutted because he used to do stand up ion Windsor and Maidenhead - near my home town - but I didn't know how funny he was back in my college days.

Here's (from memory) 1 of his funniest:-

Golf instructor to female during lesson

"Listen. You've had over 100 lessons and you aren't getting any better. Please don't think i'm putting you under pressure, but you're making me look bad in front of my fellow professionals. Treat the club like a tool, like your husbands penis"

She hit this ball 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

"Marvelous, F'ing marvelous" he says























"Now take the club out of your mouth" :mrgreen:

 

[tifosi]

reportedly a mike reid classic...

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

 

[tifosi]

and another...

This bloke walks into the poshest restaurant in town and says, "Where's the god damn, mother f**king Manager you c*ck sucking a*se wipe." The waiter is naturally taken aback and replies, "Excuse me, sir, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."


The manager comes over and the bloke asks, "Are you the chicken f**king manager of this b*stard joint?". "Yes, sir, I am," replies the manager, "and I would prefer it if you could refrain from speaking such profanities in this, a private restaurant".

"F**k off!" replies the bloke. "And where's the f**king piano?"


"Ahhhh," replies the manager. "You've come about the pianist's job," and shows the bloke to the piano. "Can you play any blues?"

"Of course I f*cking can," and the bloke proceeds to play the most inspiring and beautiful sounding honky tonk blues that the manager has ever heard.

"Why, that's superb, what's it called?"

"I want to f**k your missus on the sofa but the springs keep hurting my knob," replies the pianist.

The manager is a bit disturbed and asks if the bloke knows any jazz. The bloke proceeds to play the most melancholy jazz solo the manager has ever heard.

"Magnificent!" cries the manager. "What's it called?"

"I wanted a w*nk over the washin' machine but my b*llocks got caught in the soap drawer".

The manager is a tad embarrassed and asks if he knows any romantic ballads, the bloke then plays the most heartbreaking melody.

"And what's this called?" asks the manager.

"As I ***** you under the stars with the moonlight shining off my hairy ring-piece," replies the bloke.

The manager is highly upset by the bloke's language but offers him the job on condition that he doesn't introduce any of his songs or talk to any of the customers.

This arrangement works well for a couple of months until one night, sitting opposite him, is the most gorgeous blonde he has ever laid his eyes on. She's wearing an almost see through dress, her breasts are almost falling out the top and the skimpy little 'G' string she's wearing is riding up. She is sitting there with her legs slightly open, sucking suggestively on asparagus shoots and the butter is dripping down her chin! It's too much for the bloke and he runs off to the bogs to 'wrestle with his bald headed champ'. He's pulling away furiously when he hears the manager's voice...

"Where's that bloody pianist?"

He just has time to shoot his bolt and in a fluster he runs back to the piano, not having bothered to adjust himself properly, sits down and starts playing some more tunes. The blonde steps up and walks over to the piano, leans over and whispers in his ear:

"Do you know your knob and balls are hanging out your trousers and dripping spunk on your shoes?".

"Know it," the pianist replies, "I f*cking wrote it!"

 

[enworb]

A bloke goes on holiday for a few months. On his return his mate is waiting at the airport.

"So how have things been since i've been away" he asks
"Well i've got some good new and some bad news" replies the friend
"What's the bad news"
"Your dogs dead"
"My dogs dead, what happened"
"Your horse kicked him in the throat"
"Why would my horse kick my dog" he asks
"The fire in the stables must have scared him"
"My stables burned down. I've only just had them built. What caused the fire"
"The flames were from the main house"
"My house has burned down....what started the fire"
"A candle fell off of your Dad's coffin"
"My Dad's dead....no" he sobs... "when did he pass away"
"2 weeks after your Mum died"
"Not my Mum" again sobbing..."so what's the good news"
"Well the heat from the flames brought the dafs up early"

As with all the jokes, reading text doesn't do them justice. You've got to watch the vids

 

[mxm]

hats off to the tippler from acton

sad to hear and see he has gone....

a fond memory

mike V mnm

an interesting site (worth reading) :-D

one of the guys lucky enough to work with mike... fantastic live humour as it should be rip franky boy